9/20/2020 0 Comments Best Friends Interview In an effort to show how IBD can affect someone and how that comes across to other people, I've asked my two best friends to answer these questions for me. This is from their perspective seeing me live with Ulcerative Colitis. I've known Yenni since freshman year of high school and she was there with me as I was getting diagnosed. Caitlyn was my roommate last year, freshman year of college, and we have grown inseparable since. I openly talk about my chronic illness with them, so I knew they were the perfect people to ask these questions.
How did you react when I told you about my chronic illness? Y: It wasn't really a reaction, it was more of an okay, what does this mean moving forward? C: When you told me you had a chronic illness, I first wanted to know more because I think it’s important for someone you live with to know what you’re dealing with on a day to day, what to expect, and how a roommate can support you best. I asked a lot of questions about your experience with the illness and how your daily life is altered, because by understanding your needs, I felt I could be a more conscientious roommate and friend. How does knowing this affect our friendship? Y: It hasn't, lol. C: I think knowing about it doesn’t really change our friendship that much, we fell into a rhythm of knowing boundaries, needs, and we found that mutual understanding of how our friendship works and how we as roommates worked. While you may have moments, days, or weeks of symptom flare ups, I know that you will advocate what you want or need from me in those moments, and I always hope I can be that person you can count on to be understanding and there. We also have come to this point where you feel comfortable enough to joke around about all the moments that others would see as TMI, but we just find the humor through the socially constructed awkwardness and can have a good laugh about it which I really appreciate. Do you have any advice on how to tell people about your chronic illness? Y: Only do it if you're comfortable with the person. If you know/think the person wont treat you differently, go for it. C: I think telling someone you have a chronic illness is a necessary conversation that can seem really scary, but when approached the right way, can really bring people together. Be true to yourself, and don’t try to sugar coat or downplay what you feel out of fear of judgement. People who are going to be there through good and bad with you will never pity you or look down on you. They just see you, the amazing, courageous, and lovable person you are. When did you first learn about my diagnosis? Y: When you did?? LMAO I CAN'T REMEMBER. C: I first learned about your diagnosis pretty soon after we started talking and realized we were really connecting and would be seeking to live together. It wasn’t a conversation that happened all at once, I still had questions here or there as we continued to get to know each other, but it was a conversation that happened naturally and without a heaviness to it, at least in my experience. You were just giving me a rundown on how your needs differed from my own, which was beneficial as we continued to learn about each other. Have you seen how Ulcerative Colitis affects me? Y: Kind of, like going to the hospital and stuff. You're not able to eat certain things now. C: I’ve seen you go through some rough patches, the fatigue, the bouts of pain and cramping, the food sensitivity as medications wear off, but honestly seeing you in these moments have made me realize how strong and determined you are. You were aware of yourself and how far you were willing to push yourself, still going to classes, review sessions, work in which you would come back exhausted, and never once did I question how you were doing it. I only saw your passion for what you do, your determination to never let your illness define you, and the courage you bring to every moment of hardship you face. Has your life changed or been affected by chronic illness? Y: Chronic illness? I mean I have my thyroid thing so yes. C: My life has not been overly affected by chronic illness, as anything I face personally has been well-managed by medications, minor lifestyle changes, or avoiding things that are pretty easy to avoid. Knowing you though has changed my life, particularly because you have challenged me to put my best foot forward and probably unknowingly encouraged me to live my life to the fullest and appreciate the world and people around me in a way I would not have before. How would you support someone with IBD? Y: I remember at prom I made sure where we were eating had food options for you. C: Everyone experiences illness in a different way, leads different lifestyles, and has different goals. Ask the person you want to support about what you can do and be aware of hints that they may be giving. The number one thing is to trust that they know what’s best for them, and never make assumptions about what’s right for them, because you aren’t the one experiencing it. Be understanding and conscientious, and don’t treat someone differently because of it. Make sure to accommodate their needs that you know of and let them have the space of advocate for any other needs. What's a surprising thing that you learned about Ulcerative Colitis? Y: The most surprising thing was the blood treatment thingy, I don't know what it's called but the reason you go to the hospital for the IV. That was pretty surprising. C: I was surprised to know how many subcategories of IBD there are. I realized I knew very little about how the digestive system works and how many moving parts there are when it comes to nutrition, but now I have found a unique appreciation for the very niche balance that is the human digestive system. It also made me realize that we use a lot of blanket statements when talking about chronic illness, though people can have very different symptom sets and have completely different experiences with what is identified as a single illness. What question do you have for me? Y: What can you do to make it easier for you?
Final thoughts? Y: I loves you, and I honestly didn't know how to answer any of these questions. LMAO C: Overall, I’m thankful to have gotten to know you so well and that you have chosen to share your experiences, perspective, and worldview with me. Chronic illness is something that is not talked about by a lot of people, and so many times we see ads for medications treating chronic illness that frame the experience in only a negative light where people are only ‘sufferers’. People with chronic illnesses are so much more than some diagnosis on paper. They are courageous, hardworking, caring, and brave. They have passions, hopes, and dreams. Illness is an aspect of their lives no one else can experience, but they take it in stride with grace and most of the time someone walking down the street would never know the depth of their hardships. I am humbled to walk with people like you on the winding path of life, because while adversity and stigma may have weight upon you, you are a warrior who will never stop fighting.
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