1/13/2021 0 Comments Boyfriend InterviewThis is the second "interview" I've done in this sense. It was a little different this time, though generally the same. The questions are a little bit different than the best friend interview and more geared towards our relationship and for others in a relationship with a chronic illness. My boyfriend, Zach, and I have been going out for almost 5 months now. I told him about my disease from the very beginning. He originally found out through my Instagram page, but I officially told him about it on our first date. Since then, he's been very accommodating to all of my needs whether that is cooking something that fits into my diet, or being there for me when my tummy hurts. So for anyone with a chronic illness that is in a relationship, talking to someone, or too nervous to get into a relationship because of your illness, this is for you. Or, anyone that is in a relationship with someone who has some type of chronic illness and are looking for a way to better help them, this is for you too. Either way, I hope this is helpful in some way. It definitely was helpful for us to talk about. Enjoy! 1. What was it like when I told you about my disease?
It was just something that I had to process for a second. And then, I had to question what it is. I wouldn't say it was a shock, but instead a "huh okay" moment. To some people, I guess, it would be a turn off. I didn't really mind. It wasn't something you that you were trying to hide. It wasn't something that I feared, but I do worry about it, even now. 2. Does knowing about it make you see me differently? At first it was hard to understand and wrap my head around it. I didn't see you as different, maybe more as fragile. As something that needed to be more protected. When I got to know you more, I realized how strong you really were. I didn't underestimate what you could do, but I did feel that there were limits. 3. Did you know about Ulcerative Colitis before I told you about it? No, not at all. 4. What's it like, for you, to date someone with a chronic illness? I have to be more patient. I had to be more open to change in the beginning. I had to let you make your own decisions. Usually in dating, you can plan everything out and hope they like the date. I had to communicate with you more in what you could and couldn't do. Be a little more cautious than usual. 5. How have you seen this disease affect me the most? The only thing I really notice is when you have to get up in the middle of something to go to the bathroom. It's not really something I know the signs of. 6. What advice would you give to someone whose significant other has a chronic illness? I would say for the person to be more open and more adaptive to their partners needs. They may not be able to do certain things all the time, and you just have to be okay with it. It's not that they don't love you and don't want to do the things you want to do, sometimes they just can't. You just have to accept that and work with it. It shouldn't be that much more of an effort if you really love that person. 7. What did you do to make it easier for me to tell you about it? I opened up more. I made you feel safe. I tried my best to make you feel happy and comfortable enough to share it with me in the process of getting to know each other. 8. How has Ulcerative Colitis affected our relationship? It really depends on your mood and what you want to have for dinner. We can't just go to normal places. We can't go to chick-fil-a all the time so you don't get sick, and have to be more picky about where we go to eat. When you're not with me I can make something that is not gluten free, but when you're with me I try my best to make everything gluten free. It makes me want to learn about more meals that you can have. 9. Do you have a question for me? What are the signs and symptoms of your disease? What can I do to make you feel better?
10. Final Thoughts? I don't think it's a make or break factor in wanting to love you. It was never a question of if I could put up with the illness. My choices of whether to date you or not, never stem from the illness. I know most people aren't, but I feel like I was very open to learn about it and you.
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