10/19/2020 0 Comments IBD GuiltDo you compare yourself to other people? Other people who are enduring obstacles unimaginable to you? And you start to wonder if your struggles are even worth sharing. Well, that's me. I've been feeling guilty recently. It's not about one particular thing, or one instance, but more in general. It's hard to define it as just guilt, maybe "survivors guilt" but that doesn't measure up to it either. In no way does this feeling compare to "survivors guilt" but it does has the same general sense.
It mostly occurs when I see someone going through a tough time who also has IBD. Or, when someone has underwent multiple surgeries to save their life. Or, when someone has to get a permanent ileostomy. When someone posts a photo with their colostomy bag. I begin to think "Amy, suck it up, you didn't even go through that." When I see their struggles, I don't think mine measure up. I feel as though my battle isn't such a big deal. I don't always think I should share my struggles when someone else is feeling worse. So, I feel guilty instead. It's not really something I can control, or that I want to happen. Of course, I don't want to feel guilty, but I think it comes with any chronic illness. The fact that someone else is going through so much more, makes it feel as though you're being unreasonable. But that's not true. Every struggle is worth sharing. Every accomplishment is worth celebrating. That is something I have to remind myself of everyday. It doesn't come easy. But once I realize that I am a warrior, and that I am making a difference in someones life, it gets a little easier. Everything about this disease can be unpredictable. If you were to ask me about the one thing I didn't see coming, it's this. This feeling of guilt. There's a lot that I never expected to happen, but this is definitely the biggest. I'm not really sure how to overcome it. It's gonna be one step at a time, and it probably will always be there somehow. Changing my mindset is gonna be hard, but it's something I can do, and you can too. I don't want to summarize the entire article that Natalie Hayden wrote (linked below). It's definitely worth the read. She gave some amazing tips on this guilt and that everyone in the IBD community belongs in the community no matter the severity. Crohn's and Colitis are both serious conditions, and shouldn't be taken lightly. Every warrior has their own battle. Link to Natalie Hayden's article click here
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